ADHD: When Your Brain’s Traffic Cop Falls Asleep (And What to Do About It)
ADHD gets a bad rap. People think it’s just about being hyper or lazy, but it’s way more than that. Dr. Russell Barkley once suggested calling it an “executive function disorder” because, at its core, ADHD is really about how the brain manages tasks, attention, and impulse control.
Picture this: Your brain is like a four-way intersection, and there’s a traffic cop directing cars (thoughts, tasks, decisions). But with ADHD, that cop sometimes just dozes off. Chaos follows—thoughts collide, priorities get stuck in gridlock, and suddenly, you either hyper-focus on something random or feel completely paralyzed. (Thank you to Gabor Mate for the traffic cop description.)
The Energy Drain Dilemma
One of the biggest struggles with ADHD is the insane amount of energy it takes just to start something. By the time you finally push yourself to do it, you're mentally drained. This can make it look like laziness, but it’s really more like your brain short-circuiting. And that’s frustrating—for you and the people around you.
Ways to Get the Traffic Flowing Again
Luckily, there are ways to wake up that sleepy traffic cop and get things moving. Here are a few tricks that help:
1. Caffeine Works Differently for You
Most people use caffeine to wake up, but for ADHD brains, it can actually help calm the mind and improve focus. A cup of coffee or tea might be just the boost you need—experiment and see how your body reacts.
2. Lists Are Your Best Friend
Keeping a to-do list (and breaking tasks into bite-sized steps) can keep you on track. Your brain might resist, but trust me, a simple checklist can help cut through the chaos.
3. Find Your Pause Button
Since impulsivity is a big part of ADHD, finding ways to pause before acting is crucial. Try:
Setting a reminder to pause before sending that email or text.
Using a “red light” system where you stop and think before making a decision.
Practicing deep breathing—sometimes, just taking a few seconds to reset can save you from making a choice you’ll regret.
4. Prescription Medication
There are stimulant medications that can help regulate brain function, but if that’s not your thing, there are also herbal options and over-the-counter supplements. It’s all about finding what works for you.
5. Educate Your Support System
ADHD isn’t just tough on the person who has it—it can also be frustrating for family and friends. The key? Helping them understand that ADHD isn’t an excuse, but a real challenge that requires patience and strategies. Communication is everything.
Advice for Parents of Children with ADHD
If you’re a parent of a child with ADHD, you’ve probably already noticed that traditional discipline methods don’t always work the way you expect. Your child isn’t trying to be difficult—ADHD makes self-regulation incredibly hard. Here’s how you can help:
Focus on Positive Reinforcement – Reward good behavior rather than just punishing the bad. Small, immediate rewards work best.
Create Routines – ADHD thrives on structure. Keep daily routines consistent and predictable to help your child feel more in control.
Use Visual Aids – Charts, timers, and written schedules can make tasks more manageable.
Be Patient (With Yourself, Too!) – It’s frustrating, no doubt. But reminding yourself that ADHD isn’t a choice can help you approach challenges with more understanding and less stress.
Encourage Thoughtful Decision-Making – ADHD results in a lot of impulsive actions and words and can be expressed through aggression and anger or hurting others' feelings with their words, which is purely unintentional. Children often end up in trouble at school and adults end up with legal or financial troubles because of their inability to think through the consequences of their choices before acting on them.
Teach Responsibility Without Using ADHD as an Excuse – It is extremely important that neither the client nor the parent/spouse use ADHD as an excuse for poor behavior. Doing so undermines their ability to learn to make healthy choices that will not lead them down a problematic path, including trouble with the legal system.
Get Support – You don’t have to do it alone. Seek out support groups, therapists, or even online communities that can provide guidance and encouragement.
Our job as counselors is to help individuals with ADHD find a way to gain at least a few seconds to think before they follow through on any choices that can have very negative consequences for them.
The Bottom Line
ADHD isn’t just about struggling with attention—it’s about learning how to navigate a world that isn’t always designed for the way your brain works. The more tools you have, the better you’ll be at managing the traffic in your mind.
In conjunction with these tools and forms of treatment, working with a counselor can help you find ways to navigate tasks in a more fluid manner.
So, whether it’s caffeine, lists, or just finding a way to hit pause—find what helps you, and keep moving forward!
