How to Set Realistic Goals (and Actually Stick to Them)
It’s a new year, and if you're anything like most people, you've probably started thinking about goals—or at least feeling a little guilty about not setting any. But let’s be honest: most New Year’s resolutions end up like that dusty gym membership—full of passion in January, forgotten by February. So how can you set realistic goals and actually stick with them? Let’s dive in.
1. Start Small. Like, Really Small.
The number one mistake people make is setting goals that are way too big, too vague, or just not realistic for their current lifestyle. You don’t need to commit to hitting the gym five days a week or writing the next Great American Novel in a month. Instead, think bite-sized.
For example:
Want to exercise more? Start with five minutes of walking a day.
Want to read more? Commit to two pages a day.
Here’s the secret: small goals give you quick wins. And those wins trigger dopamine—the “feel good” brain chemical—that makes you want to keep going. You don’t need to find motivation; you build it through momentum.
2. Make Goals Fit Your Life
Here’s another reality check: if your goals don’t fit your actual daily routine, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Be honest about your life. Are you really going to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to work out if you already struggle to get up at 5? Probably not. And that’s okay!
Think about your current system and ask yourself:
Does this fit my schedule?
Is this something I’ll actually enjoy doing?
If you hate the gym, don’t force yourself to go. Find something fun—dance in your living room, play pickleball, or go for a nature walk. The key is finding something that doesn’t feel like a chore.
3. “More Days Than Not”
Here’s a little phrase to take the pressure off: more days than not. Instead of committing to doing something every single day—which can feel overwhelming—aim for most days. This gives you some grace for those days when life happens, whether it’s a sick day, a busy schedule, or just needing a break.
By focusing on consistency over perfection, you’re much more likely to stick with it long-term.
4. Build Systems, Not Just Goals
James Clear’s Atomic Habits has a fantastic concept called “habit stacking.” The idea is to pair a new habit with something you already do naturally. For example:
Want to start a skincare routine? Do it right after brushing your teeth.
Want to write in a journal? Keep it next to your morning coffee mug.
When your new habit is linked to something already ingrained in your routine, it becomes almost automatic.
5. Goals Aren’t Just for Fitness
While fitness goals are common, this approach works for any type of goal:
Want to learn a new skill? Start with 10 minutes a week.
Want to improve your social life? Commit to reaching out to one friend this week.
Whatever your goal, the principle is the same: keep it small, specific, and enjoyable.
6. When to Ask for Help
Sometimes, goal setting can feel overwhelming. If you’ve tried and failed multiple times or just don’t know where to start, it’s okay to ask for help. A therapist can be a great resource—not just to listen but to collaborate with you. Together, you can brainstorm, create a realistic plan, and figure out what’s holding you back.
Remember, there’s no judgment in seeking support. It’s about giving yourself the tools and grace to succeed.
Final Thoughts
Setting realistic goals doesn’t have to be complicated. Start small, make it fit your life, and aim for progress—not perfection. Whether it’s walking for five minutes, reading two pages, or building a new habit into your routine, you’ll find that success builds momentum. And before you know it, you’ll be achieving things you never thought possible.
What’s one small, ridiculously achievable goal you can start with today? Let me know in the comments—I’d love to hear!
